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Hello fellow travellers of life, let me look into my large crystal ball and see what the year 2002 has in store for you all
I see something appearing...a dark, black mass of a shape, two smaller ones below it. Ah, no, alas it is only my own
reflection! How silly of me ! But wait...yes, a new image is forming. I see a path, a
beautiful path bordered by tall, elegant, green trees.
Its summer time, and the sun is beating down on me.
Gorgeous, multicoloured plants display their beauty and blur as I speed fast down the path...
A familiar figure is increasing in size as I move towards him.
Its that nice, but sometimes rather deliberately unhelpful and misleading bloke off the telly program
"Who Wants to Be a
Millionaire?", Chris Tarrant
In his hands is fat cheque of 1 million quid and he is handing it to me, complete with
beaming white grin.
Wey-hey! I feel so deliriously happy and excited, so
internally content and joyous, so triumphantly gay and merry..
Ah, the image is fading from view and everything is turning dark.
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A deep, foreboding
atmosphere is swelling around me now.
There is an underground
tunnel here. It is damp and cold. Faces of gargoyles and serpents and Coca-Cola cans, distorted and twisted, are carved on the sides of the walls.
They all begin to blur into one as I fly fast down the tunnel like a frightened, lost, forgotten soul.
This is truly an evil place. What is this?
I've flown into a dark circle of grass which is surrounded by bare trees.. Ancient and ugly in their nakedness.
Am I on trial or something??
These trees seem to be like people, watching me, judging me, laughing at me…
An unearthly screeching voice pierces through the freezing air.." Nancy Bristletoe, You are of no feasible use whatsoever now. Your hairstyle and choice of clothing is utterly deplorable in the extreme. No wonder you never got married or even had a
boyfriend. You are the weakest-link and YOU WILL LEAVE WITH NOTHING. GOODBYE!"
These words echo and
reverberate around my mind…NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!.
.(20 mins pass..) NOTHING!
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Ah, I have landed at last. I will now reopen my eyes to our "normal" existernce.
Yes, I'm back to that world once again.
Thank god.
So there you have it. An important decision will open for a lot of you this year.
This choice will either lead to complete
happiness or will
totally destroy your life.
You must choose your path, and you must choose wisely.
It is all up to you.
The choice is entirely within your own hands..
That reminds me,
I could tell you some of the
secrets of palm-reading next issue if you wanted?
(No thanks, Eds)
Thanks for your time,
inter-dimensional
fellow traveller of life.
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